is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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