Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
