You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize