i just had sex bonerless
Acid is not a monday night drug
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
