Porn is love you can see.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Randomize
