Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
