that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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