on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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