you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
