At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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