Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
