I'm drive I can fine osifer
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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