I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just gargled with NyQuil
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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