thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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