Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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