I love black thongs
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
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