So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
