and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm sobbing to NWA
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
