the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
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I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
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for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize