do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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