I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
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THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
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nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize