Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
