So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
