i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
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Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
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Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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