As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
