she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
