Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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