I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
