i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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