all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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