you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
