Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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