Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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