Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I want to fling myself into the sun
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
