If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
