it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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