I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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