i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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