THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
