Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
