You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
did i just pee glitter
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
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