oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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