I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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