He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Randomize
