oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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