this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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