you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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