no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
