i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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