I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...