have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.