i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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