what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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