who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
