Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
