? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
